*spoiler – this contains discussion of vaginas and periods*
Following on from the Pink Parcel last week comes Period Box – another attempt to make that time of the month less miserable.
Decorated with uteruses, which is not as charming as they hoped, and subtitled ‘for a happy period’ this box isn’t particularly discreet. Though the brown box it arrived in was.
Inside is a selection of white paper bags, adorned with stickers.
I think the stickers are supposed to be amusing. At the moment, the way I’m feeling, nothing amuses me less than period puns.
Inside two of the bags are a selection of sanitary products, by my count, not quite enough, good thing I stocked up.
The third bag contains goodies designed to see you through a week of cramps, spots, bad moods and blood.
Seed and Bean dark chocolate with chilli and lime. I was watching Josh Widdicombe the other day and he said that no one really likes dark chocolate. For me that’s absolutely true – I’m a milk chocolate girl, so despite dark chocolate being better for you, the last thing I want right now is something bitter.
Happy Tea – no idea what’s in these tea bags – is it black, white or green tea? Who knows? The packaging certainly isn’t telling.
Art print by Olga Angelloz, a postcard sized art print. I quite like this, it’s suitably quirky for me.
Au Lait Bath & Shower Gel and Body Milk – travel sized, cruelty free, smells a bit like milkshake.
Sass intimate Purifying Cleanser & Perfect Skin Concentrate – now this is where I get both scientific and graphic. Your vagina is magic – it self cleans. That pH balance must not be disturbed. Very few things are meant to ever enter there. Cosmetic products like this are not. I don’t care what the packaging says, you wash your outside labia but do not use soap, body wash or anything inside. Ever. You can do terrible damage and that bout of thrush that had you wiggling about will be nothing. Who wants to go to the doctor and say ‘I think I angered my vagina and now it’s infected?’ No-one.
I am horrified that these products exist – they play on women’s fears about odour, excretions, and having the perfect designer vagina. Guess what? Nobody has the perfect one. There’s no such thing.
Your uterus and vagina are capable of extraordinary things. We should be proud of that. Douching your vagina is a big no – no. Leave it alone.
In conclusion – I’m not entirely bowled over by this box. I think it’s quite hard to design a product like this as every woman is different and has different tastes and preferences, especially at this time of the month. I would prefer more pampering products and a chocolate bar I actually want to eat.
Good thing my boyfriend has learnt that throwing chocolate at me and retreating a safe distance away is the best policy. (I joke, he’s actually very sweet to me).