This week – are you traditional or modern?
I’m having a traditional church wedding and then a massive knees up after with kareoke and a photo booth.
The church is one I went to as a kid, my mum’s still a member of the congregation. Which is how I get to marry there – you have to have a connection to the church and parish. There’s a rather scary looking legal form to sign to this effect.
We’re not overly religious but both come from church going families and I like the idea of the traditional ceremony and legal bit all tied together.
It helps that the church in question is over 150 years old and beautiful. Perfect for photos and full of history.
We went to a friends’ wedding a few months ago and they had had a civil ceremony the day before at the registry office and then a more public do the next day. It was really lovely and personal, full of touches that were very them. The groom’s late mother collected hourglasses and as part of their wedding the couple poured sand into an hourglass, uniting their lives symbolically.
I’ve been to weddings on boats, in barns, hotels and temples. I don’t think there is a right way or wrong way to do it as long as it means something to both of you.
But I won’t be saying the traditional vows – definitely taking the promise to obey out of there.
I also don’t really want speeches or a first dance. The speech thing really bothers me- the bride’s father, groom and best man all talk and the bride just sits there.
It harks back to when marriage was a business contract and a woman was property and it makes me squirm.
As for dancing, we’re not the most coordinated of people and having wiggled into am expensive fancy dress I really don’t need the Mr running it over with his grubby wheelchair wheels (apparently suggesting he go through the car wash is mean).
I don’t actually like being the centre of attention or having my picture taken so that in itself is a bit anxiety ridden.
I’m still looking for the perfect party venue for after the church. We know what we want it’s just finding it. No sit down meal of lukewarm food that nobody really enjoys, no trying to guess what our guests will enjoy.
We want a buffet of nice tasty treats, maybe a chocolate fountain, definitely a pick ‘n’ mix station and a fruit salad bar. Drinks for those that drink and tea and coffee on tap (we’re both from families of tea fiends).
There should be a dance floor for the jukebox/kareoke machine we’re hiring filled with our favourite party tunes, we’re having a photo booth so our friends can take silly snaps, and if there’s some outdoor space a few lawn games, like giant jenga and boules; perfect for our more competitive guests.
Casual, relaxed and informal, perfectly balanced against the traditional ceremony before hand.
Even more exciting are my planned vendors – but you’ll have to wait and see next time.