life, mental health, mindfulness

Why I’m taking a Facebook break

Let’s be honest, the world is full of heartbreakingly sad things, and people arguing about them.

My anxiety levels are through the roof in general at the moment and all the carrying on online is only making it worse. So I removed the app from my home screen, I didn’t delete it because I genuinely don’t know my password and should I ever go back, I’d like to be able to get into my account.

I haven’t used Twitter much recently, and having deleted dozens of random accounts I was following, I’m going to try to use it more, bite sized info that I can handle. I’m also on Instagram. Imaginatively my handle on both is ramblingmads, so do come say hi.

Facebook was overwhelming, too many voices screaming for attention. If I do decide I want back in, I think scaling back groups and “friends” will be a must. I’m starting to think my friend Jack, who does not use any social media, may have a point.

If you need me I’ll be reading a book and painting my nails.



beauty, body positive, life, mental health

A reminder to be kind to yourself

This is the kind of reminder I always need.

When you look at your body in the mirror or the bath,
It should make you smile, it should make you laugh,
Those stretch marks that you hate,
Remind you of the date your baby was born,
You grew an entire new person, that’s great,
That scar from falling off your bike,
Reminds you of being a little tike,
My broken toe never healed straight,
But I remember the fun I had the day it broke,
That weird lump or mark you’ve had all your life, that makes you self-conscious,
Marks you as an individual, as one of a kind,
So be kind to your body, be kind to your soul,
Honour your curves, or straight lines,
Stop worrying so much about what others think,
They’re all having the same anxious thoughts,
We spend all our time looking for flaws,
But you’re perfect just as you are.

Do something nice for yourself today. Remember that you are unique and wonderful, just like everyone else.



life, mental health, relationships

Friendships are the best kind of ships!

My best friend and I have been evil twins since we were 11 year olds just starting secondary school.


We took our first girlie holiday last year, it was well overdue, we went to Venice.

We are so in sync that we once bought each other the exact same thing for Christmas, and frequently get very similar things for each other for birthdays.

My addiction & a dedication to my evil twin

I am very lucky in my friends, bunch of weirdos that they are. Most of them have been my friends since we were kids, builds a hell of a connection between you.

Who's in your gang?

Most of my friends have been part of my life (and family) since we were kids. Those deep, lifelong friendships are so satisfying. Built on a history of in jokes and ‘remember the time…’ stories.

It can be hard for new friends and partners to break into the group, but those that do, can never leave!

Those friends, who’ve known you for years, those are the ones that you can lean on when things get tough, and vice versa.

So go find them!

I have been so lucky in my friends, the ones that are like family, my brother from another mother, the ones that are always at the end of the phone. The ones that even if you haven’t spoken for a while, you pick straight up the conversation like there wasn’t a gap.

Remember to tell your friends how awesome they are and how much you appreciate them.



life, mental health, mindfulness

Crazy banter and mental health*


So, I have been signed off work since late August. Because of the two conditions in the above image. Anxiety and depression. The devils on both shoulders.

There has been a lot of discussion about mental health issues recently, partly because of next week’s elections and concerns about how the outcome will affect the provision of mental health services, and partly because there is still a distinct lack of knowledge and understanding of mental health conditions and what living with them is truly like.

I will never be ‘better’, there is no magic cure. Instead, with a combination of therapy and medication, the aim is to manage my condition so I can lead a relatively ‘normal’ life and go back to work.

I don’t like the word ‘normal’, in fact I spend a lot of time wondering what exactly is normal?

Last summer I tried CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) but it wasn’t for me, I know it has helped a large number of people manage their mh but I don’t have the tools to exchange negative thoughts into positive ones. I may never.

Currently i’m doing a psychotherapy assessment, meeting every other week with a consultant to assess whether psychotherapy is for me.

I also regularly see my GP to monitor the tablets I take and check in.


Sometimes it feels like I spend my time going round in circles, with good days where I get lots done and feel able to cope with things and then I can’t get out of bed at all, forget to eat and spend too much time sleeping.

Stupid things trigger my anxiety – the phone ringing, a knock at the door when I’m not expecting anything, opening the fridge and not finding anything I want to eat even though there’s plenty of food.

The thought of going back to work makes me feel worse than anything else, but I have to make a decision. 

*lyric from Bitter Ruin’s Child in a Seacave